A Very Hokey Christmas.

To those of you that have memories of the little red barn in Richland: I got lucky enough to stumble into a spot in the Hokey Open this last weekend. I haven't Hokied in around 15 years but somehow wound up on the Hokey porch smoking and joking with Marty and the boys after golf. I felt like I woke up in a time capsule. I just thought some of you would get a kick out of that.

League Chat

Traditionally, each week owners can go to the scoreboard section on the league page and talk trash about each individual match-up.

Go to scoreboard and inside each match-up there is a preview link.  Follow the link and it will give all of the pertinent info about the match up, but then at the bottom there is a chat box.  Leave your thoughts on the game, life, why your momma still hates you, whatever you feel like.  You can also vote on whom you think will win the game.  Mucho funny shit going on there.

There is also a more general chat section for you general venting purposes...good stuff both places!  I would check both places often and participate or be rolled over by the hate!

Xplodey

Trades and Player Pickup Rules

I have gotten some question from a couple people about the rules for picking up players and waivers and the like.  I was going to do a big long post on what is entailed but I found that the mothership has better descriptions than I can come up with and I don't have to type for a half frickin' hour.

Go to the main page and go to rules...there is a screenshot below.  If you have any other questions, as always, contact me!

I even highlighted where the rules page is...


Head Xplodey in Charge

The smack is on

I don't know about you guys but I have already checked out your horrible lineups and posted week one predictions in the scoreboard previews on the site.

It is time for smack. For example, Jim's tooth is so infected that the cavity creeps said "Pick Brady, Pick Brady......OH NO, not ROMO, you DICK!"

Bring it on weak ones.

You May Have Noticed...

we have a new player.  Apparently Bill, our newest expansion club, was so intimidated by the witty banter that he has decided to not play.  Jeff Hurst will be batting for Bill.  He is an unknown quantity and an upstart, but he comes highly recommended by one Robert Powers IV.  Just as the Indiana Jones franchise could not leave well enough alone with a trilogy, we have our beloved Bob 4!

I digress...welcome Jeff!

Happy Draft Day Everyone!

It's weenie tingling time fellas, that time just before you get to see what your week 1 team is going to look like.  We are hours away from Mark being able to pick up as many free agents as will fit on his pathetic little bench.  Hours away from Drew picking an all Lions staff and sadly having to fight Devin for most of the picks.

If you have any issues today let me know.  My phone is 616-929-0042 or email me or Skype.  If you have Skype and you would like to be in on the fun, my Skype handle is duggygee and I will share everyone's addresses so you can get all of their permissions.  Remember you must have the latest version of Skype to be on a multicast so make sure you are up to date.

13 hour and 15 minutes away from Folz pulling the trigger on Ricky Williams and getting the draft started so everyone have a great day!

Funny!!!

A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.

The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention.

"But ya fuck one goat..."

Mock Drafts

Fellas,

As you check your computer configurations, you may want to try a mock draft.  You can go to a draft and sign in at your draft position.  You can get a handle on what players may be available in each round on the real draft.

You can do as many mock drafts as you want so you can try different draft strategies out before we go live.  I would suggest all newbies to do at least one mock draft before we go live because you will get to see the draft environment and exactly how everything works.

Mustafa

I'm just sayin....

Greetings, gentlemen ( I use that term loosely):

I wish to introduce myself. I am the crafter of the Vessel of Victory, the Chalice of Champions, the Bulletproof Tiger Trophy. I am the unseen hand to Mustafa's brilliance, official secretary, videographer, and assistant to the Commissioner of the Fantasy Football League, The Bulletproof Tiger. I will not be actively participating in the league, since betting and wagering of any kind are not allowed in my happy place; and, I must ask that you do not move anything in my happy place!

I wish to state for the official record that I have no intention of posting, monitoring, interrupting, disrupting, mediating, coaching, betting, urging, nagging, pestering, trash talking, or any such interjecting. In other words, carry on. I do request immunity from any and all personal attack, slander, or defamation of character. You may reserve your attacks for the head Mustafa in charge. Thank you for your cooperation in such matters. Sincerely, Mustafette

Happy Saturday Night!

We are a little over 11 days from the draft and here are the important specifics that you need to know to be ready for a successful draft night.  First the draft is on Wednesday the 25th at 9 pm eastern, 6 pacific.  Our actual time slot is 9:15 but we all need to be signed into the system at 9 sharp.

By the end of this week, I need every owner to sign into the league site and go to the mock draft lobby section.  On this page you will see a place to test your computer for the proper software configuration to run all of the draft program.  If you do not have the proper software you will be screwed and will not be able to draft.  If you have incompatible software, you will be prompted to upgrade your system, for free, to more current versions of the software needed.  Everything is flash driven, so if your pc has flash 9.0 or beyond you are set.  If you have a mac, it will work, but check it out regardless.  The test takes less than a minute.  This is MANDATORY!

If you are not sure what you are doing and you need more information to find out whom to draft, go to the Draft Kit page on the home page.  There is enough information on that page about every damn player in the league.  There are a ton of sources out there to get your information from magazines, to literally thousands of web pages.  If you are unprepared it is on you!

If you go to your My Team/Roster page on your ESPN pages, you will see that there are pre-draft player rankings.  You can set your players in order of importance that you want to draft.  You can compile all of your knowledge to have all of your information at your finger tips on draft night.  Also you can set your auto-pick strategy.  This is very helpful in case you are not able to make it to the draft or if your connection was to be severed during the draft, the autopick will do your bidding in your absence.  It is very cool, check it out.  Better safe than pregnant.  

I know that Brian is on call on draft night and may have to go into proxy mode,  If there is anyone else, please let me know so that I can help you get your shit straight before the big night.  

I am going to post this on the blog as well this evening.  If you would please go to the blog and leave a comment once you have checked your computer for compatibility.  That way we will have no surprises.  

I am making a list of everyones chat and skype names so everyone will know how to get into the chats on draft night.  It sounds as if we are going to have small gatherings for the draft, but we are spread out so much now, we will have to do most everything teleconference style.  More info to come.....

Commish De La Xplodey

Pasadena, No! Mudslide, Yes!

http://sorisomail.com/email/42722/ja-viram-desmoronar-uma-montanha.html

Fuck!

Can't Stop the Madness

And, really, who would want to?

BAF, you Mr. T loving wackjob, your crew team called and want their cocks back! Sorry, that's "coxswain"...

Just one example of how I intend to bring it this year. I will not apologize, so if your easily offended, tough shit. I do not plan on winning any games this year. I will, of course, end up winning most of them. All the while rubbing it in your faces. "Devin's a dick" and "What a douchebag" will be used more and more as the year goes on. The Bulletproof Tiger ain't Madnessproof, dig?

As for Mustafa, you will be taking the brunt of my load. Yes, I know I said my load.

15 days to still roam- blissfully unaware of the agony that awaits each and every one of you......

Inspiration! Enjoy!

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos