Playoff Week Two

Two big games will decide who will play for the Bulletproof Tiger and more importantly bragging rights for the next year.

The one seed, powerhouse Wesley's Balls versus the #4 seed, Xplodey Coyotes.  Both teams have been on a tear with the Coyotes winning their last 6 including last weeks playoff win and the Balls have not lost a game since week 5.  This should be a brawl!  Wesley is a couple TD favorite but don't count out the upstart Xplodey's.

The other half of the bracket pits the #2 and #3 seeds with the Blue Room Champion Pasadena Mudslide up against perennial juggernaut and the only team to ever win the Bulletproof Tiger, Dirty Sizouth.  On paper it looks like a Mudslide advantage, but don't count out the playoff experience of the defending champs.

In NIT news, Make A Color, Frat Party @ the Pankake and Zomby and his Woofs all won last week in the round robin circle jerk that is the consolation bracket.  It should be great fun to find out which team is truly 7th best.

Playoff Week One

I really wish I had not been involved in this weeks playoff game so I could tell the story without any bias or bragging...but I cannot so I am gonna tell it anyway.  Xplodey Coyotes Vs. Asian Assassins is one of the games that will go down in the annals of league history.

To begin with the point projection was one point difference, so you knew it was two evenly matched teams before any games had been played, combined with the stakes, it was going to be bloody.

After 3 quarters of the early games, the Coyotes held a comfortable 50 point lead thanks to the Eagles clunker of a performance.  Then within 7 game minutes in the forth quarter the Eagles put up 4 touchdowns on the Giants which brought the Assassins within 6 points thanks to Vick and Jackson.

The 4 o'clock games proved to be a veritable Coyote killer with Knowshon Moreno getting injured in the first quarter, Reggie Wayne putting up a gentlemen's 3 points and Dustin Keller being Dustin Keller.

When the dust settled on Sunday, the Assassins had a 114-83 lead with the Assassins out of players and the Coyotes having Johnny Knox and the Bears D left to play.

Early in the first quarter of the Bears game Johnny Knox caught a 76 yard bomb for a TD and there was hope for the Coyotes.  What followed was the most excruciating three quarters of football I have ever watched.

Having to count on your defense to score points for you is a sticky wicket.  So many things have to happen, like punt returns for TD's, interceptions, fumbles and the most terrifying of them all, stopping the other team.  The D would score then Vikings would score and the points go back down.

In the end the Coyotes won with a 117-114 squeaker.  It was a fantastic game to watch and win or lose would have been very cool...but winning it was amazing!  What a great game and a reminder why fantasy football is so much fun.

The best part of the game was being on the smackboards and watching the game with everyone talking smack, shitting their pants as well.  Rob and I were texting back and forth the entire game...I have 17 texts of WTF!  This is my favorite league just for this reason!

Thanks you guys for a great season whomever ends up winning the Bulletproof Tiger!

Commish De La Xplodey

Week 14 Trophies

Week 14 is the final week for trophies other than the finalist trophies!  

Most Points      Asian Assassins

Least Points      Frat Party @ The Pankake

Ass Kickin        Make a Color over Dirty Sizouth

MVP                Make a Color (McFadden)

Big D                Jimmy's Jammers  (Steelers)

League MVP Status

Wesley's Balls      12

Asian Assassins    11

Everyone Else        6 or less

#6 Seed Playoff Breakdown

Here is my analysis of what the final playoff spots come down to.

You need 8 wins to be "in" as of right now.  4 teams have 8 wins and are clinched.  Assassins have 7 wins as of week 13, but the Assassins have all of the tie breakers handled.  I will explain.

Assassins win in week 14, the question is moot.  Assassins lose week 14, they have tie breakers of record and head to head against Make a Color and Jimmy's Jammers.  The Steel Curtain has the head to head lead over Assassins, but for that to happen, Assassins would still own enough tie breakers to get the 5 spot.

Make a Color has the clearest path to the #6 spot.  Win and they are in!  The Curtain and the Jammers both need a win in this weeks head to head and a loss by Make a Color.  See the earlier post on playoff tie combinations.

If I have anything wrong, please let me know, but I am pretty confident in my playoff math.

Week 13 Recap

Well, the battle of division leaders was as much of a bust as the Patriots/Jets game.  Way to step up Mark!

Congratulations to those teams who have clinched a playoff spot.

#1 seed  Wesley's Balls  Champion Of Short Bus Divsion
#2 seed  Pasadena Mudslide Champion of the Blue Room Division
#3 seed  Dirty Sizouth
#4 seed  Xplodey Coyotes
#5 seed  Asian Assassins

Thank you to the six brave souls who took the time to vote in last weeks poll.  Not to be a dick, but if I ask for everyone to vote in the poll I would appreciate it if everyone could take the extra 15 seconds to actually vote in the damn thing.

League fees are due.  Please have your 25 bucks ready to distribute to commish. If you are an out of Kalamazoo/GR type person, please get a hold of me to figure out how to get it to me.  Thanks!

So far I have received fees from:

Coyotes
Balls
Flounders



Xplodey

Week 11, 12, 13 Trophies

Trophies are up to date on the website.  As it stands, Devin and his brothers tiny testicles are in the lead for MVP through week 13 with 12 stars.  The only team with a shot at him is Rob and his Assassins with 10 stars.  The last week for trophies is week 14.  The only trophies awarded after the regular season are for the league Champ, first loser and second loser.

Most Points
11- Mark  12- Mark 13- Bob

Least Points

11- Brian  12-Drew  13- Steve

Big D

11- Don  12- Steve  13- Devin

MVP
11- Rob  12- Mark  13- Bob

Ass Kickin

11- Devin/Jeff  12- Mark/Coop  13- Bob/Jim

Playoff Tie Breakers

How do playoff tie breakers work?

PLAYOFF SEEDING & TIE-BREAKERS
When your league converts into playoff mode the system automatically generates a seed for each team in the league based on the regular season results. The seeds determine where the system places each team in the playoffs. The primary factors which determine seeds are:

1. Division Winner(s)
2. Winning Percentage

In the event that two or more teams have the same winning percentage at the conclusion of the Regular Season, and have played the same number of Head-to-Head games between them, the following tie-breaking system determines the seed:

1. Overall record *
2. Head-to-head record
3. Overall points scored
4. Division record
5. Overall points-against
6. Coin Flip

* Overall record is based on winning percentage. Therefore, a team that is 8-5-0 and a team that is 7-4-2 have the same winning percentage, and thus would be considered tied for overall record.

In the event that two or more teams have the same winning percentage at the conclusion of the Regular Season, and have not played the same number of Head-to-Head games between them, the following tie-breaking system determines seed:

1. Overall record
2. Overall points scored
3. Division record
4. Overall points-against
5. Coin Flip

For each tiebreaker case the team that does not win the tiebreaker is eliminated from consideration.

NOTE:In LM Leagues only, if your league's rules do not agree with the system tiebreaker rules described above the playoff seeds can easily be changed by the League Manager. To edit the playoff seeds/bracket simply go to the Playoff Matchups page and click on the "Edit" link.

TIE-BREAKER FOR PLAYOFF GAMES
The system does not observe your league's Regular Season tiebreaker rule during the playoffs. Rather, in the event that two teams have the same number of points at the conclusion of their playoff game, the system tiebreaker awards the win to the higher seeded team.

NOTE: In LM Leagues, the League Manager has the ultimate say on which teams advance using the "Edit Playoffs" page. Each league may establish their own tiebreaker system with the League Manager advancing the team which wins it. If your league uses its own playoff tiebreakers we highly recommend pre-defining them and posting them prominently on the League Office page. As an exception, "Most Points from Bench" is an option only available for grandfathered Custom Leagues which used such a tiebreaker rule in the past season. 

League Trade Deadline Approaching

Owners!

Just a reminder, the league trade deadline is Wednesday, November 24th at Noon eastern time.  ESPN trading rules are in effect and you may not, as per the usual, trade any player that is on the ESPN list of non trade players.  There is an explanation of this rule on the league rules, but let's just say you can't trade Payton Manning or his ilk.

It is a trade balance issue designed to keep playoff teams from loading up by "trading" non playoff teams.  Just a reminder.

Week 8, 9, 10 Recap

Fellas!

First, my apologies for the lack of recaps for week 8 and 9.  Shit was going down!  Didn't mean to disenfranchise you guys, well maybe Devin.

Trade Deadline is coming.  No Trades will be accepted after close of business week 12!

Congrats to Coop and Devin!  The both clinched playoff spots this week.  The race for league champion and the bye in week one that accompanies is still up for grabs.  Coop and Devin seem to have a pretty good dog fight in the Short Bus.  Mark and Jeff are battling it out for the Blue Room.  It seems that a dark horse would be more possible in the Blue Room, with a bunch of teams within a game or two.

Also props need to be given for a week 9 accomplishment.  We have had our first 100 point victory.  Congrats Rob and your dastardly Triad for a 135-33 dismembering of the Flapjack.  Well don sir!

Trophies will be posted on the front page of the league site and the race for the MVP for trophies will be updated as soon as humanly possible.

Play hard!  Stay hydrated!  Wear a cup!

Xplodey!

Here is something that will freak you out!

Owners,

I was bored this afternoon so I went into the blog site to clean up some stuff that I haven't had the time to get to lately.  As I looked around in the bowels of the blog, I noticed on the blog stats that 1253 individual viewers had hit this blog this month.  Not only that, more than 400 of them were from outside North America.

Now, either you guys are secret world travelers and have your I phones and Blackberries checking in multiple times a day or there are some very bored people browsing the web.

So for all of our world on-lookers Konnichi Wa, Konbanwa and Soyonera!

Week 7 Recap

Week 7 Trophies

Most Points       Coop
Least Points       Doug
MVP                 Bob  (McFadden)
Big D                Steve (Redskins)
Ass Kickin        Coop/Drew


Sorry about the update coming on Wednesday, but I have just recently come out of the fetal position after this weekends performance.  Between the giant belly flop that the Coyotes took (not taking anything away from Jeff, it was an ass kickin') and having to watch the Bears game...it's a wonder there is a week 7 recap!

Coop and Devin kept up their winning ways in Week 7.  The Blue Room Division came back to win half the games this week...more of what we expect from varsity lettermen.

Week 8 is going to be a sphincter shrinker.  The battle of the brothers is on!  Big Brother Make a Color v. Little Brother Dirty Sizouth in a rematch of the Bulletproof Tiger Championship game last year.  Big Brother Curtain of Steel v. Little Brother Jimmy's Jammers in a rematch of last years consolation game.

Big games also on the other end of the spectrum!  3-4 teams will go heads up to see who is going to further their suck-a-tude!

The second half of the season is over...the push to the playoffs is on!  Time to get your teams ready for the stretch run.  Be sure to check out the stats pages on the league site to see where your team sizes up.  Have a super week!

Commissioner Xplod E. Coyote

Week 6 Recap

Week 7 is here and we are looking at the end of the first half of the fantasy regular season.  Week 6 was a hard pill to swallow for the entire Blue Room Division.  The Short Bus tore a new hole in the Blue Room...I hope this is not a trend.

Trophies

Most Points          Coop 108
Least Points          Bob  55
Ass Kickin            Coop over Mark
Mvp                     Coop (Maclin 27 pts.)
Big D                    Rob  (Titans 17 pts.)

If the season were to end today the seeding for the playoffs would be as follows:

#1  Dirty Sizouth
#2  Pasadena Mudslide
#3  Wesley's Balls
#4  Jimmy's Jammers
#5  Xplodey Coyotes
#6  Gig Harbor Flounders

Props to Jimmy and his Jammers for their 4th consecutive win.  Week 7 should be telling.  We will find out exactly what the owners in the Blue Room Division are made of!  Sack up Blue Room teams!

Week 5 Recap

Divisional games are now over!  Everyone has played everyone in their division and only one game separates first place from last place in both leagues.  If parity is the sign of a good league, then we have a doozy!

Inter-league play starts in week 6!  It is Short Bus v. Blue Room heads up!

Week 5 Trophies

MVP                     Xplodey   Forte 30
Most Points           Xplodey 109
Ass Kickin            Frat Party Over Make a Color
Big D                    Flapjack  Lions
Least Points          Make a Color 54

MVP Race

Wesley's Balls is leading the MVP race with 7 stars....Coyotes and Assassins are next with 4!

Blue Room
                                 Record  PF/PA
Make a Color               3-2    351/375
Pasadena Mudslide       3-2    380/363
Curtain of Steel             3-2    418/354
Paul Buyan Flapjack     2-3    374/422
Frat Party @ Pankake  2-3    336/386
Zomby Woofs              2-3    375/334

Short Bus

Dirty Sizouth                 3-2    448/423
Wes' Balls                     3-2   519/415
Jim's Jams                     3-2   392/397
Xplodey Coyotes          2-3   465/509
Gig Harbor Flounders   2-3   412/501
Asian Asssassins           2-3   427/420

Weeks 6-10 are very bye heavy so there should be some very interesting games.

Commish

Week 3 and 4 Recap

Week 3 Trophies

Most Points                     Asian Assassins 143
Least Points                    Zomby Woofs  52
Gave Ass Kickin             Asian Assassins
Got Ass Kickin               Flounders
MVP                              Assassins/Flapjack Tie
Big D                              Assassins

Week 4 Trophies

Most Points                     Wesley's Balls 142
Least Points                     Frat Party  33
Gave Ass Kickin              Wesley's Balls
Got Ass Kickin                 Xplodey Coyotes
MVP                                Wesley's Balls
Big D                                Wesley's Balls

First Congratulations to Jeff and the Woofs for ending The Mudslides undefeated run!  Same props to Jimmy and His Jammers for stopping the juggernaut that was Wes' Balls in Week 3.

By this Thursday, I hope to get Devin's shoe out of my ass from this weekends match.  I literally was despondent by the end of Sunday.  I knew the day was going to suck when I had to watch the Lie Downs by myself. I then had to watch as my soul was hammered to a fine dust in my fantasy match up and the pickle on my shit sammich, having to watch Jay Cutler drop back, look around and then get pummeled nine times by the Giants defensive line.  Truly a week to forget!

The divisions have been decided.  The former Division One is now officially The Short Bus.  Division Two, now The Blue Room.  If you are not sure what the blue room is, ask one of the Comstock people in the league for a full explanation.  Helmets are mandatory!

On a serious note; please keep the Harper family in your prayers as you go about your week.  Steve's dad is having some health issues and I know I speak for all of us that you are in our thoughts.  Keep your chin up pal!

Going into week 5 no team is more than 2 games out...play hard and watch out for the byes!

Xplodey

Week 2 Recap

Fantasy Brethren,

Week 2 is in the history books and we are starting to get a picture of which teams are for real and which teams not so much...for real.

Week 2 Trophies:

High Score                             Xplodey 115
Low Score                             Jammers  51
MVP                                     Flounders  Javid Best 40 (Folz is such a bad ass, he has the MVP on the bench...chutzpah personified!)

Big D                                     Jammers   Steelers 28
Gave An Ass Whooping         Xplodey
Got An Ass Whooping           Jammers

Commish Corner

It warms the cockles of my heart to see the great participation of all of the owners.  Polls are being answered, smack is being adjudicated and general mirth is being spread!

Game of the week poll is up on the league front page, weekly game by game polls are open and a poll I need you all to look at will be on the right side of the blog.  I took the suggestions from the comments last week and compiled them into a poll .  The division name poll will decide our division names.  Most votes equals winner.  Vote early and often.

Week 2 featured some blow outs and some really tight games.  Week 3 looks to have some fantastic match ups.  The game of the week is the Curtain of Steel, who scored over 100 in week 2, vs. the undefeated Pasadena Mudslide.  The Unblemished Balls of Wes find themselves in a trap game with the upstart Jammer's from Jimmy...don't take the power of the slime too lightly.

The Coyotes head down to the Dirty for a match-up of big scorers, both over 100 in week 2.  The battle of Portland will be ragin between the Woofs and Make A Color.  In an odd, almost unheard of match up, The Race For Pancake Supremacy?  Frat Party at the Pankake vs. Paul Bunyan Flapjack.

Good luck to all in week 3 and remember to never let your meatloaf!

Commish

Week 1 Recap

Owners,

Congratulations to this weeks winners; The Flounders, Wes' Balls, and the Assassins in Division 1; Make A Color, Mudslide and The Flapjack (by default).

Week 1 Trophies

Most Team Points                                                    Wesley's Balls  120 points
MVP                                                                       Wesley's Balls  Arian Foster (Who the hell?) 41 Points
I Gave The Ass Kickin' Of The Week                      Wesley's Balls
I Got The Ass Kickin' Of The Week                         Dirty Sizouth
Big D                                                                       Jimmy's Jammers 16 Points
Least Points                                                             Jimmy's Jammers 58 Points

Players with most positive trophies at the end of the season will win the MVP award and a cash prize!

Commish's Corner

We need division names.  Division 1 and 2 are beneath the dignity of this fine league and quite frankly I expect more from a bunch of varsity lettermen.  Leave suggestions in the comments.

Some owner's better gird their loins and figure out whatever combination of dim wits and bottom dwellers they are going to pick up to right the damn ship.  1/13th of the season is over.

Not that you winners get a pass because, Arian Foster is not going to get 41 this week and no you may not trip on your willie and score in the 60's and win.  To borrow a phrase from Mark Rinehart, "I'm insane with anger!"

This weeks game of the week is The Asian Assassins v. Wesley's Balls.  A battle of undefeated teams, we will find out find out whom is for real.  Mudslide v. The Coloreds should be a sphincter squeezer. Other good match-up's this week include the battle for Lake City pitting the Flapjack against The Curtain and the what is being dubbed "The Expansion Bowl" with Frat Party and the Woof's squaring off.

Remember to visit the preview section of the scoreboard section of the league site to vote on whom you think will win this weeks games and to spread some smack around.  There are some owners, including myself, who try to comment about every game, spreading as much smack around as morally responsible.  Vote in the game of the week poll on the front page on the league site as well.

Have a great week 2 and as always, wear a cup!

Commish De La Xplodey

Season 2...Mexican Style

Trailer

Skype....10 ways! Get in on the fun!

Make group video calls with up to 10 people with the new beta version of Skype for Windows

Today we’ve released an update to Skype for Windows. The second beta of Skype 5.0 brings a number of changes both outside and in – most importantly, you can now make group video calls with up to 10 people. It also welcomes in a fresh new look, as well as increased stability and better quality when making group video calls. Read on to find out more, ordownload it now.

Make group video calls with up to 10 people

You can now use Skype to make group video calls* with up to 10 people – letting you bring even more of your family, friends or business together, even if you’re cities or continents apart.

Note that everyone in a group video call now needs to be running this version, so if your friends, family or colleagues are using Beta 1, they’ll have to upgrade before you can include them in group video calls.

A refreshed user interface

You’ll notice that the new-look Skype is sleeker, neater and crisper than before, and we’re proud of the work our interface designers have done to refine and mature the interface for this version. We’ve also added Skype Home, where you can follow your contacts' mood messages, set your profile picture and mood message, receive account notifications and learn more about using Skype.

Better stability and quality

We’ve made improvements to call quality when making group video calls, as well as fixed a number of bugs affecting stability, so your calling experience should be smoother than before. This version also includes automatic call recovery, which should help automatically reconnect Skype calls that are interrupted due to network problems. We’ve also made a number of other housekeeping fixes since the first beta – but please bear in mind that this is still a beta version, and so there may be the odd bug remaining.

* Group video calling is currently available as a free trial. For group video calls, everyone in the group video call will need Skype 5.0 Beta 2 for Windows.

A Very Hokey Christmas.

To those of you that have memories of the little red barn in Richland: I got lucky enough to stumble into a spot in the Hokey Open this last weekend. I haven't Hokied in around 15 years but somehow wound up on the Hokey porch smoking and joking with Marty and the boys after golf. I felt like I woke up in a time capsule. I just thought some of you would get a kick out of that.

League Chat

Traditionally, each week owners can go to the scoreboard section on the league page and talk trash about each individual match-up.

Go to scoreboard and inside each match-up there is a preview link.  Follow the link and it will give all of the pertinent info about the match up, but then at the bottom there is a chat box.  Leave your thoughts on the game, life, why your momma still hates you, whatever you feel like.  You can also vote on whom you think will win the game.  Mucho funny shit going on there.

There is also a more general chat section for you general venting purposes...good stuff both places!  I would check both places often and participate or be rolled over by the hate!

Xplodey

Trades and Player Pickup Rules

I have gotten some question from a couple people about the rules for picking up players and waivers and the like.  I was going to do a big long post on what is entailed but I found that the mothership has better descriptions than I can come up with and I don't have to type for a half frickin' hour.

Go to the main page and go to rules...there is a screenshot below.  If you have any other questions, as always, contact me!

I even highlighted where the rules page is...


Head Xplodey in Charge

The smack is on

I don't know about you guys but I have already checked out your horrible lineups and posted week one predictions in the scoreboard previews on the site.

It is time for smack. For example, Jim's tooth is so infected that the cavity creeps said "Pick Brady, Pick Brady......OH NO, not ROMO, you DICK!"

Bring it on weak ones.

You May Have Noticed...

we have a new player.  Apparently Bill, our newest expansion club, was so intimidated by the witty banter that he has decided to not play.  Jeff Hurst will be batting for Bill.  He is an unknown quantity and an upstart, but he comes highly recommended by one Robert Powers IV.  Just as the Indiana Jones franchise could not leave well enough alone with a trilogy, we have our beloved Bob 4!

I digress...welcome Jeff!

Happy Draft Day Everyone!

It's weenie tingling time fellas, that time just before you get to see what your week 1 team is going to look like.  We are hours away from Mark being able to pick up as many free agents as will fit on his pathetic little bench.  Hours away from Drew picking an all Lions staff and sadly having to fight Devin for most of the picks.

If you have any issues today let me know.  My phone is 616-929-0042 or email me or Skype.  If you have Skype and you would like to be in on the fun, my Skype handle is duggygee and I will share everyone's addresses so you can get all of their permissions.  Remember you must have the latest version of Skype to be on a multicast so make sure you are up to date.

13 hour and 15 minutes away from Folz pulling the trigger on Ricky Williams and getting the draft started so everyone have a great day!

Funny!!!

A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.

The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention.

"But ya fuck one goat..."

Mock Drafts

Fellas,

As you check your computer configurations, you may want to try a mock draft.  You can go to a draft and sign in at your draft position.  You can get a handle on what players may be available in each round on the real draft.

You can do as many mock drafts as you want so you can try different draft strategies out before we go live.  I would suggest all newbies to do at least one mock draft before we go live because you will get to see the draft environment and exactly how everything works.

Mustafa

I'm just sayin....

Greetings, gentlemen ( I use that term loosely):

I wish to introduce myself. I am the crafter of the Vessel of Victory, the Chalice of Champions, the Bulletproof Tiger Trophy. I am the unseen hand to Mustafa's brilliance, official secretary, videographer, and assistant to the Commissioner of the Fantasy Football League, The Bulletproof Tiger. I will not be actively participating in the league, since betting and wagering of any kind are not allowed in my happy place; and, I must ask that you do not move anything in my happy place!

I wish to state for the official record that I have no intention of posting, monitoring, interrupting, disrupting, mediating, coaching, betting, urging, nagging, pestering, trash talking, or any such interjecting. In other words, carry on. I do request immunity from any and all personal attack, slander, or defamation of character. You may reserve your attacks for the head Mustafa in charge. Thank you for your cooperation in such matters. Sincerely, Mustafette

Happy Saturday Night!

We are a little over 11 days from the draft and here are the important specifics that you need to know to be ready for a successful draft night.  First the draft is on Wednesday the 25th at 9 pm eastern, 6 pacific.  Our actual time slot is 9:15 but we all need to be signed into the system at 9 sharp.

By the end of this week, I need every owner to sign into the league site and go to the mock draft lobby section.  On this page you will see a place to test your computer for the proper software configuration to run all of the draft program.  If you do not have the proper software you will be screwed and will not be able to draft.  If you have incompatible software, you will be prompted to upgrade your system, for free, to more current versions of the software needed.  Everything is flash driven, so if your pc has flash 9.0 or beyond you are set.  If you have a mac, it will work, but check it out regardless.  The test takes less than a minute.  This is MANDATORY!

If you are not sure what you are doing and you need more information to find out whom to draft, go to the Draft Kit page on the home page.  There is enough information on that page about every damn player in the league.  There are a ton of sources out there to get your information from magazines, to literally thousands of web pages.  If you are unprepared it is on you!

If you go to your My Team/Roster page on your ESPN pages, you will see that there are pre-draft player rankings.  You can set your players in order of importance that you want to draft.  You can compile all of your knowledge to have all of your information at your finger tips on draft night.  Also you can set your auto-pick strategy.  This is very helpful in case you are not able to make it to the draft or if your connection was to be severed during the draft, the autopick will do your bidding in your absence.  It is very cool, check it out.  Better safe than pregnant.  

I know that Brian is on call on draft night and may have to go into proxy mode,  If there is anyone else, please let me know so that I can help you get your shit straight before the big night.  

I am going to post this on the blog as well this evening.  If you would please go to the blog and leave a comment once you have checked your computer for compatibility.  That way we will have no surprises.  

I am making a list of everyones chat and skype names so everyone will know how to get into the chats on draft night.  It sounds as if we are going to have small gatherings for the draft, but we are spread out so much now, we will have to do most everything teleconference style.  More info to come.....

Commish De La Xplodey

Pasadena, No! Mudslide, Yes!

http://sorisomail.com/email/42722/ja-viram-desmoronar-uma-montanha.html

Fuck!

Can't Stop the Madness

And, really, who would want to?

BAF, you Mr. T loving wackjob, your crew team called and want their cocks back! Sorry, that's "coxswain"...

Just one example of how I intend to bring it this year. I will not apologize, so if your easily offended, tough shit. I do not plan on winning any games this year. I will, of course, end up winning most of them. All the while rubbing it in your faces. "Devin's a dick" and "What a douchebag" will be used more and more as the year goes on. The Bulletproof Tiger ain't Madnessproof, dig?

As for Mustafa, you will be taking the brunt of my load. Yes, I know I said my load.

15 days to still roam- blissfully unaware of the agony that awaits each and every one of you......

Inspiration! Enjoy!

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

By The Way...

have you guys forgotten how to use this site?  Click new post and fire away!  This is a league that runs on intellectual humiliation and the berating of your fellow owner's.

If you are new to the league, jump in!  You aren't going to hurt anyone's feelings...except for perhaps Don's...pussy!  See how easy that is!

Training camps are open, I declare Fantasy Football Season officially open!  Bring the pain, bitches!

Commish

27 Days Until Draft...Decisions Need To Be Made!

Training camp starts today for most teams and for those who don't, they start soon.  I am sending emails out today to get your input on live draft (without ESPN's help) or scheduled draft (using the ESPN draft machine...like last year).

I find myself at a crossroad...I really do not care which way we choose, but we need to choose it soon.  Check your email today and sound-off what you think.  I need to know LIVE or ESPN?  If you choose Live, will you be there.  If you are an out-of-towner just your preference is okay.

Commish

Live Draft Guest List

Fellas,

Now that we know what order we are drafting, thoughts now shift to the draft itself.  To avoid logistic problems we suffered last year, we are contemplating a live draft.  The live draft would be offline and live at Draft Central (Jim's Crib).  

The question I need answered, who is planning on being at the live draft?  Please leave your RSVP response in the comments.  This is primarily for in stater's.  I am pretty sure BAF is not coming in from Washington!  Please let me know.  If we don't have enough people who will be there live, we may have to revert back to an online draft format.  We are at a place in time that we can still do what ever we want.

If we do revert back to an online draft format, everyone will have to have access to a computer and be online at the draft time.  There is also a mock draft online this season to allow you to test your computer to make sure you have the appropriate software before draft time.

So, please let me know if you want a live draft and if you would be there!

Commish

TART CART PLUNGES OFF CLIFF. NO SURVIVORS.

As the official driver of the short bus I would like to say a few things before this tour begins. First, if anyone has an old hockey helmet laying around, I will need a couple more to supply my Dream Team. So if you could help me out I would appreciate it. Next, I need some type of absorbent towels to hand out. Finally, I will issue this warning. I am going to unleash my band of rrr-rrrs without direction or restraint. They will have orders to pummel savagely and without mercy. Don't be offended when I destroy you, it's just business.

Draft Order Announcement Video

DRAFT DATE ANNOUNCEMENT

Owners,

After much consideration, the 2010 Bulletproof Tiger Draft will be held Wednesday, August 25 2010!!!

More info to follow.  Remember the draft order will be established on Thursday, July 15th, keep your eyes peeled to the blog for more information!!!


Xplodey

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An overview on fantasy football terminology

by Benjamin Lomax

There are a lot of terms utilized in Fantasy Football that you will need to know to be able to communicate with other fantasy football owners. Nothing shows off a fantasy football rookie owner more than inability to speak the language. With that in mind, here are some of the more common phrases utilized in normal fantasy football interactions.

ADP (Average Draft Position): This is a ranking, often within certain positions, providing a ranking for each player based on many mock or real drafts averaged out. This is a useful tool for information prior to your own draft.

Auction (Draft): This is a fantasy football league where each owner is allocated a certain amount of fantasy cash. Each player costs a certain amount of that case. Either the owners can compete for players or more frequently a player can be on more than one team.

Basic Scoring: Fantasy points are the results of scores only: touchdowns, field goals, and extra points.

Bench Players: Players on a fantasy roster who are not starting that week.

Bust: A fantasy player who does not fulfill expectations, typically drafted in the higher rounds. This can be because of injury or just generally under-performing.

By Week: The one week out of 17 where each team does not play. Obviously fantasy players from that team should not be played on that week.

Cheat Sheet: A “quick and dirty” draft guide that many fantasy owners use. Based on projected draft rankings from other venues, it is not detailed, but nonetheless useful.

Commissioner: The one running the league, reporting the results, conducting the draft, and collecting the fees as well as paying them out (if the league prize is monetary).

Deep League: A fantasy league with many (more than 12 typically) owners. This typically necessitates drafting more players, so the teams are deeper also.

Depth Chart: Listing of NFL teams with their starters, 2nd, and 3rd string players.

Draft: The make or break session where owners gather before the season starts to pick their respective line-ups. Possible techniques are serpentine or auction drafts.

Drop/Cut: To simply remove a player from your roster without compensation.

Dynasty League: A keeper league where the owner retains their entire team every year except for a supplemental draft at the start of each season (mostly rookies).

Fantasy Football (or FFB): A gathering of football fans attempting to replicate real owners, choosing players in a draft, then choosing who to start. Those players who perform highest earn their “owners” more points. The owner whose fantasy team performs the best over the season wins the championship, usually involving a financial payout.

Flex: Line-up spots where more than one position (WR, RB, or TE) can be started.

Flyer: Taking a chance on a risky or inconsistent player “taking a flier”.

Free Agent: An available player not currently on any fantasy roster in your league.

Gamble: Akin to Flyer, this is a high-potential high-risk player, either because of injuries, inconsistency, or off-the-field problems.

Ghost (or Ghostship): A team without an active fantasy owner.

Handcuffing: Drafting a player on the same team and same position as another player, typically done in case of injury.

Individual Defensive Player (or IDP): A league that utilizes statistics for individual fantasy defensive players, rather than the traditional team defense.

Injured Reserve (or IR): Similar to the NLF option, keeping a player on your roster but making him unavailable for a set number of weeks, freeing a roster spot.

Keeper League: A fantasy league where a certain number of players are retained year to year by the owners, leaving a smaller portion to draft each new season.

League: Group of fantasy owners playing against each other, also used to define the type of scoring, drafting, etc.

Mock Draft: A rehearsal draft, typically utilized to give owners an idea where players might be drafted. This is rarely done in a league, very often done online or in advertisements for fantasy football as an informational tool for owners.

Owner/General Manager: These are the actual people participating in the league, those in charge of drafting and choosing their starting line-ups each week.

Performance Scoring: Fantasy football scoring where yardage is considered for points in addition to points for actual scores on the field.

Pick-up: Adding a player to your roster through free-agency, waiver, or trade.

Points Per Reception (or PPR): Fantasy scoring where owners receive points for each reception their starting player has that week.

Projections: A Cheat Sheet with statistics, this is longer but much more useful. Projections include not only the player rank, but also includes their statistics.

Quarterback by Committee (or QBBC): Drafting multiple low ranked quarterbacks in low rounds, taking a chance that between them you will have one performing well each week.

Running Back by Committee (or RBBC): Drafting multiple running backs for situational starts, typically a distance runner for yards and a power back for short touchdowns.

Scoring: TD = touchdown, FG=Field Goal, XP=Extra Point, INT=Interception.

Serpentine or Snake Draft: The owners choose from first to last, then in the second round they choose last to first, enabling owners to make up for not getting early first rounders.

Sleeper: Fantasy player who is ranked or projected low but who has an unexpected outstanding breakout year. Typically late round picks. See also Flier and Gamble.

Starting Lineup, Starters, or Lineup: The actual fantasy players chosen to start on each team each week, eligible to score points, typically one quarterback, two running backs, two wide receivers, one tight end, one kicker, and a team defense.

Stats: Fantasy players numerical accomplishments either for the week or the season.

Stud: Excellent fantasy performer consistently at the top of his position.

Team/Roster: Every player on a fantasy owner’s team.

Team Defense: Drafting an entire team defense and recording their statistics each week, often including special teams statistics.

Team Position (or Team QB): An unconventional system where a whole team’s performance at a position is recorded each week, for example all the players at quarterback statistics for Dallas.

Third Year WR Rule: The common belief that NFL wide receivers do not have breakout years until their third year in the league.

Trade: Fantasy owners swapping players, can include multiple players, but not cash!

Transaction: Any change (see Drop, Pick-up, or Trade) to a fantasy roster, some incurring fees.

Waiver: An increasingly popular complexity where each player dropped by a team goes into this status for a certain period of time (usually one or more days). All interested owners can attempt to claim, usually preference goes to the lowest ranked owner.

An exhaustive list, but if you understand each of these terms, you will fit right in during the next fantasy draft.

For You New Owners

July 9, 2010, 11:08 AM

So you want to play fantasy football?

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By Jim McCormick
Special to ESPN
Archive

Every passion and hobby has an individual genesis, a moment when one is introduced to an activity or subculture that they may pursue for the rest of his or her lives.

Fantasy Football 2010

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Several years ago, my then-technophobic dad asked me exactly where the Internet was (the man is a doctor, mind you) and I told him that it was housed in a building outside of Cleveland. These days, after years of acclimation, the guy is the Gordon Gekko of eBay, placing bids on wooden gnomes, classic beer bottles and 5-irons (unrelated hobbies) with precision.

The point is that we all have the potential to evolve from rookie to expert quite quickly, particularly thanks to all of the amazingly accessible resources at our disposal.

Fantasy football may seem like a complicated and consuming activity from the outside, but once you're immersed you'll find it to be a generally easy game to navigate. My duty here is to illustrate the framework of fantasy football and introduce what could become an enjoyable, empowering and enduring hobby for you.

The Basics

Fantasy football participants are "owners" and "managers" of teams that engage in competitive leagues, accruing "fantasy points" based on the statistics of real football players. The vast majority of leagues are scored on a weekly basis, matching up teams in a head-to-head scenario in a rotating schedule. The teams in the end with the best records make it into the fantasy postseason (often held from Weeks 14-17 of the NFL schedule).

Matthew Emmons/US PresswireDrew Brees is a top player in fantasy football, no matter what the rules.

The goal is to collect the most productive players across a variety of positions. In a standard league, you are asked to fill out your starting roster with a quarterback, two running backs, one "flex" player (a slot for either a running back or wide receiver), two wide receivers, one tight end, one team defense/special teams (you draft the entire Pittsburgh Steelers defense and special teams, for example) and a kicker. To fill out your roster with depth you are afforded seven bench spots. This may seem like an absurd number of players to manage at once, but as the season wears on you'll wish you had even more room on your roster.

Fantasy leagues can adhere to any variety of rules and settings desired, but for the sake of simplicity, I suggest perusing the scoring settings in theESPN standard leagues. Before you join any league, it's imperative to have a sound understanding of the scoring and roster settings so that you can capably build a successful team. The players make up a marketplace, so consider the players as commodities; that their value fluctuates based on the rules and regulations of a given league. In the Draft Kit you'll find a number of helpful scoring-specific guides.

The draft marks the beginning of the fantasy football season. Often held in the weeks leading up to the NFL season, the draft is when you initially construct your roster. Most leagues are comprised of 10 to 12 teams and the drafts are conducted in either "snake" or "auction" formats. Pick by pick, you build your team and fill out your roster. Draft day for many leagues has become a holiday of sorts, with spirited trash-talking and camaraderie becoming core traditions. Once you get a good grasp on the elemental rules and settings in fantasy, take a few minutes to read Christopher Harris' valuable take on drafting strategies.

Playing the Game

Clearly, you play to win the game. Fantasy, in every permutation, is about the numbers. As is true on the field, maximizing production from every starting position on the roster is the goal. While the actual players risk life and limb for extra yards, we risk ego, pride and semi-public humiliation for fantasy glory.

Tony Medina/Icon SMIChris Johnson helped many fantasy owners win their leagues last year.

The question then, is how does one become a deft fantasy manager?

The road to imaginary glory (but glory, nonetheless) begins, of course, with a concrete understanding of the parameters of the league you are entering. Once this foundation is established you can focus on becoming the best manager possible, which requires taking on several different roles.

Scout: During the spring and summer months, you are tasked with collecting information on injuries, position battles, free agency and the NFL draft. Don't let this overwhelm you. You might be relieved to know that during the spring and summer months ESPN Fantasy and the rest of the fantasy content industry are also tasked with analyzing these events and placing them in a fantasy context. The summer is the time to gauge where value lies amongst the collective of football players. Read up and read often and jump into somemock drafts in order to get accustomed to the process while also refining your understanding of the marketplace for talent.

General Manager: You've already spent some time over the summer mocking it up and reading and otherwise general fantasy "nerdery." On draft day, you are the war room. You and you alone are building the squad. While it takes several hours to conduct a draft, it can go by quite rapidly. Having a few cheat sheets and some handwritten notes on the side while drafting can help focus your decision process. While it's hard to envision this in August and September, the makeup of a fantasy roster often changes somewhat by November and December, given the attrition of the NFL season. This means that having valuable backup players is often just as much a determinant of your team's success as how your "stars" perform. Put some time into learning about some of the value players, or "sleepers" as the cool kids call them.

Some of the most important work continues post-draft in regards to managing the roster, as transactions on the waiver wire (collection of players who are not owned in a specific league) and pursuing trades with other managers can impact your season just as much as the draft process. Much like in the real thing, the job of a GM is never quite finished.

Insiders, have a question about your fantasy team? Get it answered by an ESPN expert! Ask your question 

Coach: If the GM's role is to evaluate the roster in regards to the entire market for players, the coach is asked to consider the best decisions for each given week. In this role, you must choose which players to start and bench given your limited slots for starters. "Coaching" a team is essentially a mixture of informed decisions and flat-out gut calls. Some start/sit decisions truly can become dilemmas and induce handwringing and pacing. But much like a golfer would say, the "stress" of it all is also what affords such a grand payoff when you excel.

In the end, the payoff is that you are simply in charge. An effective blend of these roles and a conscious eye on merely enjoying the fantasy and football seasons will make for the best experience.

Striking a balance

Fantasy football information is everywhere, sometimes there's seemingly too much. We all get advice on basically everything (especially those of us who are married). From the guy in line at the supermarket to the ESPN analyst, opinions on fantasy football are endless. The real task is digesting all of these different angles and resources and forming your own strategy for not only that upcoming season but throughout your days playing fantasy football.